


Always

by GingerItt



Category: Glee
Genre: Character Death, Dubious Consent, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-19
Updated: 2013-09-19
Packaged: 2017-12-27 01:48:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/972886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerItt/pseuds/GingerItt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I kept thinking about that scene in High Fidelity where Rob goes to Laura’s dad’s funeral and she winds up fucking him in the car because she’s so overwhelmed with grief that she needs to feel something else. </p><p>And.  Well. </p><p>I’m sorry, guys.  My inbox is open if you want to yell at me.  I’d totally understand if you did.  I’m not even sure if I should post this.  Before you click, be aware that this is about Kurt trying to deal with Finn’s death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always

Kurt refused to let Blaine out of his sight or stray from his side. If he had to get through this day he couldn’t do it without him. They’d sat together at the service, hands clasped tightly together, as he tried to be as strong as he could for Carole. Understandably she’d been clinging to Kurt and Burt ever since—

"Drink this," Blaine said, holding a cup of water up to his lips. "You need to keep hydrated." They were back at the house now with their friends and family. Most people were gathered in the living room or dining room, looking through the photo albums Carole’s mother had brought with her and sharing stories. Rachel had disappeared up the stairs to the bedrooms a while ago and Kurt knew exactly where she was. They’d found Carole in there that morning, half-dressed and just laying on the bed, her face pressed to the pillow.

Kurt had sought refuge in the kitchen, dragging his fiancé away from the weepy laughter and condolences. It was getting late but people didn’t seem eager to leave and Carole and Burt were sitting with all of them, listening to the stories people told.

"I’m fine," he said quietly, from the tight ball he’d curled up in against the cabinets. Every story, every ‘I’m sorry’ made it all seem even more real.

"Please, baby," Blaine said, brushing his hair from his forehead. "Or I can get you some juice or a soda. I’m sure your dad would be okay with you have a beer considering the circumstances."

Kurt blinked up at him with wet eyes. He stood up and took the cup from Blaine’s hand, downing the water in one gulp. “Come on.”

He gripped Blaine’s hand and led him out of the kitchen and to the garage. His Escalade was parked further from the door and he was grateful that he’d left his keys in his pockets. How he had been able to drive was a mystery to him but there had been something cathartic about it. The headlights flickered as he pressed the button to unlock the doors.  
"Kurt, the driveway is full right now, we’ll need to ask people to move their cars—"

"We’re not going anywhere," he said stiffly, yanking a back door open and ushering Blaine inside before following after him. He slammed the door shut and reached out for Blaine’s hand which was immediately there. "I just needed to get away from… all that."

"It’s okay, baby. I’m sure they’d all understand." Blaine scooted closer, gripping his hand tightly. Kurt’s eyes closed as he leaned back against the head rest. "I’m right here if you need me."

"I was hoping you’d say that," Kurt said flatly. His head was throbbing and his body ached. When his mother died, he’d been so young that he didn’t quite so understand what it all meant. As time went on, he knew and he felt that greatly. But this, this was like a white hot branding iron on his stomach. He physically hurt. It didn’t make sense. They were stepbrothers, not actual brothers. There was no blood connection to tie them together. They had been two teenagers whose parents married and were stuck together.

But they had grown up together, become men together. And maybe because they weren’t tied by blood was why their relationship had been so special. They were forced to find something in common beyond genetics and truly bond. They actually had become friends and loved and respected one another. And now—

Kurt climbed into Blaine’s lap, sealing their lips together is a dry kiss. He’d obviously taken Blaine by surprise, as evidenced by how his hands flailed for a moment before coming to Kurt’s arms.

"Kurt, Kurt—come on, what’re you doing, baby?" he asked, leaning away from his lips. Kurt yanked at the collar of his shirt and sucked at the smooth skin there. "Kurt, what’s going on? Talk to me."

"I can’t—I can’t do this—it hurts too much—I can’t deal with this—" he mumbled as he reached between their bodies and fumbled with the fly of Blaine’s pants. Blaine’s hands flew to his wrists and pulled them away roughly.

"Kurt, this isn’t—"

"Please, Blaine, please—I can’t—he’s gone. He’s gone and I can’t bear that thought."

Blaine sighed and brought Kurt’s hand up, kissing his wrists. “Baby, we can’t—”

"I’m sorry, I just, I need to feel something, anything other than what I’m feeling—"

"What are you feeling?" he asked. He let go of Kurt hands and Kurt took that as an invitation to slide down the zipper of Blaine’s pants.

"Like I’m on fire." He chokes over the words as he presses the palm of his hand to Blaine’s groin. "Please, Blaine—I—I’ll stop but—"

Blaine shook his head and surged up to kiss him. “No, it’s okay, baby. What do you need?”

“Can—” he slipped his hand under the waistband of Blaine’s briefs, wrapping his fingers around his hardening cock, “—can I ride you?”

Blaine groaned, his lips dragging over Kurt’s neck. “Whatever you want, Kurt.”

Kurt rolled off him and stretched over the backseat to get the lube they’d started keeping in the little compartment by the back seat when they’d started getting physical. He prayed that his dad hadn’t found it and that there was still enough to do what he needed. He dug through around the various clutter that had been shoved in there as Blaine reached under his hips and undid his pants, shimmying them down his thighs with his underwear. Finally, he found the discrete looking tube that had shifted to the bottom of the compartment and returned to Blaine. He kicked his shoes and pants off, not caring at all if they got scuffed or wrinkled, and settled back in Blaine’s lap. Blaine applied some of the lubricant to his middle finger but Kurt took the tube from him and added a bit more to his index finger.

“Kurt—”

“I don’t care if it hurts later, Blaine,” he said, directing Blaine’s hand around his hips. He wasn’t hard and he had a feeling that he wasn’t going to get there. But he didn’t care. He wanted to feel Blaine pressing inside him. Getting off wasn’t high on his priorities at that moment. Blaine nodded, sucking Kurt’s bottom lip softly. The cool slickness of Blaine’s fingers was a welcome relief to Kurt as they pressed small circles over his hole.

“What if someone hears us?” Blaine asked between kisses. He slowly pushed the tips of both fingers past the first tight ring of muscle, causing Kurt to shudder and tense. “Shh…shh… Relax, baby—”

“I don’t care if they hear us,” Kurt replied, pushing down on Blaine’s fingers, desperate for more. “I don’t care if they all come out here and hold up score cards,” he added, chuckling in spite of himself.

“Yeah, no, never repeat that around Santana because she’d do that.” Blaine flicked his tongue over his Adam’s Apple.

“Stop talking about Santana when we’re like this and you have a deal,” Kurt said, silencing Blaine with a rough kiss. Blaine scissored his fingers, making Kurt whimper. When he paused, Kurt clenched around him, saying, “Keep going.” As Blaine added a third finger, Kurt thought that they probably should have taken off their shirts and jackets but it was too late to worry about that. Blaine’s face was pressed his his chest, his tongue lapping at his nipple though the fabric of his shirt. He felt the heat creep back up his body, that fire of pain that had been consuming him. “Blaine, I’m ready please—”

He nodded at Kurt, slipping his fingers out before slicking his cock. Kurt tilted his hips forward, gripping Blaine’s back by the base as he sank down. Blaine’s eyes fell shut and his hands came to Kurt’s hips as he began to slowly rock.

As he moved, he had the realization that this wasn’t working. That the grief was still there and almost worst somehow. Thousands of flames licked over his skin, each one searing off his nerves and leaving invisible scars. He moved faster, thinking that maybe it was the pace that was letting those horrible feelings come up. Blaine laid back against the seat, letting Kurt do the work because that was so obviously what he needed. Kurt clung to him, hands wrapping around the lapels of his suit jacket for leverage as he moved.

“Blaine—I—you can’t die—promise me you’ll never die or we’ll die together—”

“Honey, I can’t promise—”

“No, promise me—I loved him in a way that is so different from how I love you and I don’t know how I’ll survive without you—”

“It’s gonna be okay—”

“No, it won’t,” Kurt spat, fucking his hips down as hard and fast as he could. “I’m barely—he’s gone and there’s nothing—anything—he’s gone and it’s not fair!”

“Baby, I—” Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt and pulled him close, trying to hold him still. Kurt pushed him away, hands pressing on his shoulders as he continued to fuck himself on Blaine’s cock.

“I hate this—I hate him—”

Blaine’s hands came up to cup Kurt’s face. “No, you don’t, Kurt.”

“Yes, I do. I hate him for being stupid and dy—” he choked over the word as tears began to fall from his eyes and he collapsed against Blaine’s chest. He froze in Blaine’s arms, his sobs finally forcing him to stop.

“Kurt, I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re feeling right now and I hope I never have to. But I’m here for you and I love you.” He lifted Kurt up, making him whimper as his cock slid out. “I’m not going to leave you any time soon.”

“It—it’s just all seems so pointless.” His head rested on Blaine’s shoulder, letting big, fat tears fall.

Blaine rubbed his back and rocked him slightly. “Let’s get your pants back on and go inside. I’ll make your excuses and put you to bed, okay?” he suggested, kissing the top of Kurt’s head. He didn’t have it in him to argue. Blaine knew how little he’d been sleeping since it happened.

Blaine helped him dress and put his hair as back in order as he could before they went back inside, hoping no one noticed their absence. Hand in hand, they made their way into the kitchen. After saying good night to Burt and Carole and the people that remained, they went up the stairs to Kurt’s room. Kurt stood numbly by the bed as Blaine undressed him and helped him lay down before tucking him in.

“Will you stay with me?” he asked, sounding like more like a little boy than the man he was becoming.

Blaine pulled his tie loose and toed his shoes off. “I’ll always stay with you, Kurt.”


End file.
